There are a number of powerful black women out there that haven't found their ideal mates, and that may be because the dating pool just doesn't offer them what they need. When you've spent your life being marginalized, underappreciated, and stigmatized for your emotional power, you tend to want to deal with less bullshit on a daily basis. What that means is that black women are not looking for you to diminish them with your patriarchal nonsense, and try to mansplain how they should be living their lives. It's time for you to sit back and take some notes, because if you want to date an ebony goddess, then you've got to learn how to worship her properly.

If someone has spent the majority of their life being undervalued by society, then the last thing they want or need is to be undervalued in their love life. Dating a strong black woman means you need to be open about who you are, what you want, and also what you can offer. Playing games is for the schoolyard, and these ladies left that behind them a long time ago.

First

Cut out that I'm a tough guy and you're a meek girl that needs my protection nonsense. Black women have been struggling against male dominant adversity since the dawn of time, and they have persevered in the face of it. None of them want your machismo bullshit. If you think for even a second that you know how to do something better just because you're a man, then start checking yourself RIGHT NOW! They don't want to hear it, and have probably struggled uphill against that kind of thinking since they were little girls. Refrain from using words like, ‘Ho', ‘Bitch', ‘Trick', and any other stereotyped hip-hop vernacular that you think makes you sound cool when speaking about women. You sound like a chump that will spend the majority of his life holding his own dick in his hands, which means you are one lonely sad boy.

If you want to be respected, then you have to give respect first. These ladies don't owe you anything, and the faster you realize that, the quicker you'll be treated in a much nicer fashion. Recognize how powerful and capable they are from the jump, and you might find the kind of purring response you would hope to receive from that engine you've been working on.

Secondly

Nobody wants to hear you talk about yourself for hours at a damn time. You shouldn't even want to hear you talk about yourself for that long, and the fact that you haven't realized that yet means you might still have the brain of a boy, and not a man. Ask them about the things that really matter. What are their hopes and dreams? Where do they want to travel to? What are their interests? Who are they? You should want to know all of these things and more, long before you get to any type of conversation about their sexual desires. Show some respect, and remember they are sacred bastions of feminine power that need to be recognized. Dirty talk, and all the sexy fun back and forth, will come much faster if you express how important it is to know who they are as a woman.

Third

Don't look at this as any sort of dominance game (unless that becomes part of your established dynamic down the road), you should be respectful and caring in your conversation. There is an established paradigm that men need to act in charge of their women, and it's one of the most ridiculous lies that's ever been thrust upon humanity. Building a relationship isn't about dominating another person's will to mold to your own, that's called slavery, and if you think that attitude is going to fly, then you should think again. Get off that high horse, and get on your woman's level. Strong black women aren't looking for jokers with no potential that fall prey to all the tropes of manhood. Be strong, be independent, be caring, be understanding, be all of the things that make for a well-rounded human being. You don't relinquish any power by getting rid of the masculine tropes, and replacing them with better ones. No, your daddy probably didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

If you are seriously interested in a strong black woman, then you are going to have to show your worth. Your worth won't come just in the sense of your wallet, but in the kind of man you portray yourself to be. Yes, they want you to be all of the things I mentioned, and no, they don't need to accept less. It's time for you to grow into the kind of man that deserves a strong black woman, not the other way around.