Dating can be a bit of a convoluted mess, especially if people aren't representing themselves earnestly. What starts off as exciting and wonderful, can turn into a disaster when one of the people in the relationship stops showing up like they used to. Below we'll delve into some of the reasons that Black men have grown to dislike dating, but ladies, that doesn't mean you can't change their mind. If you identify with some of these markers, then use them as insights to better connect with your man.

Exclusivity Is Not The Excuse To Become A Different Person

This happens more often than you think. Women will give it their all to get a new guy really interested, and then once they're in a committed relationship those efforts fall to the wayside. Yes, all men understand that there are certain levels of comfortability that will grow with a relationship, but that doesn't mean you stop trying. If you kept yourself in good shape, wore cute clothes, and were fine with your man hanging out with his friends from time to time, then that shouldn't change once you're together. Men can be held to the same standards, and you should bring it to their attention if they're slacking, but the reasons he was attracted to you at the start haven't changed entirely, so neither should you.

Expectations That You Don't Meet, But Like To Ask For

A lot of women talk about how they want a man that's a professional, a go-getter, a driven individual that passionately follows their dreams, and brings home the bacon. The problem isn't from wanting these things, but does stem from not actually supporting what those expectations mean. You can't have someone that runs their own business, but leaves at the same time every day. Running a business, and building it into something bigger and better, will always take more time, long hours, and sacrifice. If you want success in anything, then it's going to take your time doing it. When you claim to love that about a man, then you need to help support him while he's pushing that dream ahead. Show up at his workspace with dinner. Offer to help when you can. Remember he's building something for both of you to later reap the rewards from, and that you claimed for that to have been important from the jump. If you set these expectations and then don't support them, it's only you to blame when start getting dissatisfied by your man's drive to succeed. In turn, they should offer you the same respect, so know that it's a two-way street.

Being Dependent But Not Supportive

If you have a more traditional relationship, where your man is the breadwinner, and you get all of the benefits of a certain lifestyle they help maintain for you, then you need to show support. This support can come in so many small and thoughtful ways, but is really important if this is the dynamic that you've chosen to be in. Like in most relationship conversations, the reverse stands true. You should both work towards lifting each other up together, so that your relationship evolves.

Sex Is Not A Weapon

Using sex as a treat, or a tool, to manipulate a man is an antiquated, and disrespectful way of creating intimacy. If both of you are sexual creatures, then you should bask in that together. Don't diminish the intimacy of your relationship by holding sex hostage. Yes, not being in the mood is totally understandable, but using sex to manipulate your mate is a trend that will only breed animosity.